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[bonedoggle]

no, not the royal lab, that's the sort of place i'm looking for.

i meant dad's lab here, have i, uh, is this the first time i've mentioned it?

[spaghettimonster]

Our father has a lab here?

[Yes, this is the first time he's mentioned it.]

[bonedoggle]

yeah, it's attached to his room.

[spaghettimonster]

Like that other guy has a whole house in his roo---wait a minute. I don't remember seeing a lab in there. I've been in his room a few times!

[bonedoggle]

it's hidden behind the bookcase, bro.

[spaghettimonster]

...Sans. Are you telling me... our father has a secret lab??? Behind a hidden door???

[And he and Mettaton didn't find it when they were exploring the house?!?]

[bonedoggle]

yea?

i mean, what mad scientist doesn't?

[...Is he joking? It's hard to tell.]

[spaghettimonster]

That is a completely valid point! I never thought of it that way... but he made his own clones!

Our father, the mad scientist...

[And then Papyrus, the only one in this family responsible and sane enough to do things like wash the dishes consistently? Since some people might run off in the middle of them to test on some experiment's progress.]

[bonedoggle]

that he did.

[Sans chuckles.]

but as nice as that lab it, it's hardly a real job.

[spaghettimonster]

[So Sans needs a 'real job' as a scientist... But what would that entail? What kind of science would he even be working on...?]

There's all those engineers in the steam district.

[bonedoggle]

that'd be great... if i was an engineer.

[Papy, we need to talk about how most scientists have a field they specialize in.]

but i'm, um, i'm a physicist.

[spaghettimonster]

[How quickly will his eyesockets glaze over... Too much nerd in one conversation.]

Yes, time travel and stuff! But if they're there... There might be other scientists there too?

It's a place to start.

[bonedoggle]

[That's what happens when your little brother is the biggest nerd.]

yeah, uh, there's a university that's interested in dad's work, so we're gonna check that place out.

[spaghettimonster]

[Nerd concentrate...]

But universities are schools! For learning at. Would you two be teaching people about your work...?

[The real question is, do monster scientists need to get their studies peer reviewed?]

[bonedoggle]

yeah-- well, dad would be doing the teachin', i would just be his assistant and, uh, his interpreter.

[Perhaps? Who knows.

Sans scoffs in laughter.]

i mean, can you imagine me as a teacher?

[spaghettimonster]

Well, maybe. You sure know your stuff. And you're good at breaking the mood.

[Papyrus thinks back and really considers what being in a classroom with Professor Sans might be like, and grins.]

I know I wouldn't want to interrupt your classes. Not if it meant running afoul of some prank toy, every time I sat at my desk, for the rest of the week!

[bonedoggle]

i wouldn't do that.

c'mon, papyrus, you make it sound like i'm obsessed with pranks.

[spaghettimonster]

[Pranks are on his mind because it's been a good long while since Papyrus tried his hand at japery.]

What not? It would be a good deterrent! Embarrassing but harmless.

But maybe not the right tone for a university...

[What do people wear in universities? Big flowing robes? Sweater vests? Regular suits...?]

[bonedoggle]

[Sweater vests and suits, probably. Steampunk suits.]

not the right tone at all, bro.

it's higher education, with a bunch of adult students.

[Which makes him consider something...]

i'm probably a little young to teach at a university, anyway, so let's leave it to dad.

[spaghettimonster]

[There's no shortage of that kind of fashion.

But higher education, huh...? Does higher education mean you need to be taller, Sans? Maybe high-heeled shoes would help. Or steampunk stilts, with adjustable heights so people don't bonk their heads on doorways...]

He has plenty of experience! Teaching us, and all.

[Sure, sure school was a thing that they both did. But late night chatter with their father over homework was important too.]

But even if you're interpreting, you can learn things there too, right? Sitting in on classes. Or something.

[bonedoggle]

[Higher education, not taller education.]

yeah, i guess.

i mean, you're never done learning. not really.

i hope you didn't expect the shitposting narration to end because... i need it. like air

[spaghettimonster]

[Same difference.

...Unless you're smoking the pots at university. Sans, you're not inhaling cannabis smoke, are you? Did Mettaton and Papyrus need to give a drug intervention instead of a laziness one???]

Right! If you learn something you're interested in... Feel free to babble about it at me! I don't promise I'll understand. But I will nod and say encouraging things in the appropriate pauses!

I would be concerned if it stopped

[bonedoggle]

[Does this look like Underswap to you?]

you sure you want to offer that, bro? i always thought you found science-y stuff boring, and, uh, i can talk your ear off if it's somethin' i'm really interested in.

y'know, if ya had ears.

well at least you have one clue for if i'm replaced by a pod person

[spaghettimonster]

[Consider: Underswap Sans and Papyrus smoking together.

Sans because it helps with pain which means he can train twice as hard, Papyrus because it helps him relax from the stuff he's trying to put behind him. A kind of bonding moment they can't get with puzzles.]

Yes, but listening to you being happy would be worth it.

[Whoops, did he say that? Pull back Papyrus, that was way too sappy!]

You could do it while I'm doing something else! Like cooking! Mashing up vegetables and all. So I would be a little distracted anyway???

[bonedoggle]

[He's not gonna let you live that down, bro.]

you're a sap, papyrus. you know that?

a total sap.

but i, uh, appreciate the sentiment.